you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
