at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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