so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
