I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
