I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I party with great urgency now.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
