I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
