apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So vagazzling was a success
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
