it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
