You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
