my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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