is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
