we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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