i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
