why didn't you poke me back
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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