I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
