thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
