god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
