Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
