I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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