try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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