There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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