I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
