We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
