I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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