I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
