We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
