They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I want her autograph on my taint
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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