Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
