you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
