We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize