I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
