I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
