I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
