i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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