bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
and she was petting her beer can
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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