The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
