Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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