He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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