If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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