just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
