Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
