I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
