i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
