At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
