You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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