Me. At least after what I've been through.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
