Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
