he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
