Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
