Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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