I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
