he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize