So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
