just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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