My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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