I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
