Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you win again, gameday.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
