that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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