let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
