I think im going to throw up on grandma
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
