I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
