Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
