this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
