My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Can you repeat that, but with context?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
